Empathy in leadership means putting yourself in your employees’ position to understand their feelings, perspectives and experiences, and then responding in ways that build trust, enhance relationships and improve the employee experience at your company.
How well your leaders exhibit empathy for your workforce has significant ramifications for your business – it can improve employee engagement, retention and business performance.
As a leader, you may be inclined to think that your business success has been driven solely by grit and hard work—a can-do, never-give-up attitude, strong commitment to the task at hand and a willingness to take big risks that pay off.
A soft skill like empathy may not even be on your radar. But let’s talk about why it should be and how it already impacts your business – whether you’re aware of it or not.
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
Sympathy is caring for others by acknowledging what they’re going through – but there’s still some emotional distance. A leader may exhibit sympathy for an employee in a tough situation by saying, “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this – it must be hard.”
On the other hand, empathy is really understanding what it’s like to be in that employee’s shoes. It’s the much more personal and connected act of feeling what someone else is feeling. A leader may exhibit empathy for an employee in a tough situation by saying, “I know how you feel. I’ve dealt with something similar. How can I help?”
What do empathetic leaders look like in the workplace?
Leaders who display empathy are usually:
Emotionally intelligent
Highly communicative
Active listeners
Collaborative
Open to other perspectives
Supportive
Flexible
More thoughtful in decision-making
Humans first, managers second
What most workers today want – especially Millennials and Generation Z, the future of the workforce – is a human leader who exhibits empathy and can coach them to the next level of their career.
In the workplace, empathetic leaders often:
Take the initiative to talk to team members often, even if it’s just casually asking how they’re doing.
Understand the different personality types on their team and what drives and motivates each type of person. (Examples: task versus people oriented, feelings versus fact oriented, introverts versus extroverts.)
Recognize when team members are struggling personally or professionally.
Offer support and flexibility to team members facing challenges, whether it’s adjusting workloads, sharing resources, offering training and development opportunities or removing obstacles in their way.
Encourage an environment of psychological safety in which people feel comfortable sharing concerns or ideas without fear of repercussions.
Find compromises and solutions to conflicts that serve the needs of all parties.
Consider how workplace policies and business decisions affect employees before implementing them.
Respect work/life balance.
What is empathy not? It’s not about simply being nice or agreeable, trying to be everyone’s friend or not holding people accountable for their responsibilities.
Instead, leaders want to show team members that they care about them as people and understand their circumstances – and will act accordingly in the best interests of them and the business.
What are some warnings signs that your leaders (or you) aren’t empathetic enough?
When empathy is missing from your leadership, it can affect your business in many ways.
Culture of caring and wellness (also known as a people-first culture). Most people want to work for a company in which their employer actually cares about them as people – not just employees and the bottom line – and actively promotes their wellbeing. This includes mental and physical health.
When employees feel stressed, misunderstood, rejected or unsupported, it negatively impacts everything they do, which has a cascading effect on the business.
Engagement and productivity. How leaders engage with employees, from one-on-one meetings to performance reviews, sets the tone for the whole team and influences the employee experience more than any other factor. When employees feel heard, understood, appreciated and valued, they tend to give greater discretionary effort and do better work.
Meanwhile, disengaged employees stop caring about their work. They don’t put in as much effort, they tend to be absent more often, they can create roadblocks and they can spread negativity.
For recruitment, happy, engaged employees can be your best advertisement for new employees, singing your praises to others who might work for you and helping new hires understand your company culture.
Creativity and innovation. Employees who feel they can speak up and share ideas and are valued for their input are willing to take chances that can positively impact your business. It’s based on trust.
If employees think you will reject or humiliate them when they speak up, they’ll keep their ideas to themselves. A stifled workforce tends to do what’s required to get by and little else. That’s not exactly the blueprint for success.
Teamwork and collaboration. Empathy that starts at the top gets passed down through the organization. It becomes part of the company culture – an expectation for how people are to be treated. More collaborative organizations tend to grow faster and experience greater success.
What are some examples of empathetic leadership in action?
Imagine a few scenarios in which your employee, John, comes to you with issues that have been weighing on him. You can see how empathy wins over the long term versus dismissiveness or even well-intentioned sympathy that still makes people feel unheard and unsupported.
What conversation should you have?
Scenario #1: Daily workflow
John: Hi, I’d like to run something by you. The reports that IT leadership put together never seem to have all the information I need to move forward. It’s creating a lot more work on my part to chase information down, which makes it seem like I’m the bottleneck.
You (dismissively): Well, sometimes things like that happen. It’ll be fine.
or
You (sympathetically): Yeah, this task can be really frustrating. I’m sorry about that. It will get better over time.
or
You (empathetically): I get it – this makes your job harder and causes unnecessary delays. I’ll talk to the team leaders about how this is slowing the process. We’ll get this figured out.
Scenario #2: Hybrid work stress
John: I know that we’re required to come in to the office on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and we have a big team meeting each Friday. The problem is, my child’s preschool isn’t open on Fridays and I’m struggling to find affordable childcare on that day. It’s getting really stressful constantly have to take time off and request to work from home.
You (dismissively): Please find a long-term solution ASAP to avoid interruptions in in-office time.
or
You (sympathetically): Ugh, bummer. That’s a real pain.
or
You (empathetically): Thank you for letting me know. I’ve been there before – it can often be challenging to balance parenting younger children with full-time work. How can we support you? Maybe we can shift our team meeting to another day and have you come in on Tuesday or Thursday instead. Would that work better for you? In the meantime, are you aware of childcare resources available through our company’s employee assistance program?
Scenario #3: Performance feedback
John: I’m sorry that I’ve missed a few deadlines. I’ve been distracted by some things going on outside work.
You (dismissively): You’ve got to leave all that stuff at the door and focus. Those missed deadlines created a real problem for the business and this can’t become a pattern.
or
You (sympathetically): I’m so sorry to hear that. Let’s discuss a performance-improvement plan.
or
You (empathetically): I know it can be hard to focus on work when you’re overwhelmed by something else going on in your life. Please let me know how I can best support you, if you feel comfortable sharing with me what’s going on. Do we need to recalibrate your workload? Are the deadlines unrealistic, in general? Let’s set some goals and continue to check in regularly about how things are going.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy in leadership?
Does empathy make leaders seem weak?
How do leaders show empathy in a remote/hybrid workplace?
Summary
Empathy is understanding the perspective of others, not just offering sympathy.
Empathetic leaders build trust, loyalty and engagement.
Ultimately, strong manager-employee relationships improves the employee experience and drives better business performance.
